Adventures in the Mesa Household
by Heavy Metal Goat
Summary: A collection of stories and events from my Sims world, centering around the family called Mesa. [Warning: strong language]


It had been quite a normal day for Marlena Mesa. Due to her Bestselling Author aspiration, she had spent the better half of the day writing, taking infrequent breaks to get food or use the bathroom. She was already a talented author to the public, gaining at least two-hundred simoleans a week for the two books she had already published. She had a great life. And a great boyfriend. Remembering their date from the previous night left her giddy and made her mess up on the last sentence in her book. Annoyed with herself, she erased it and rewrote it until she was satisfied.  
Just then, a loud buzzing stirred her from her inspired mood. It was her phone. She stood up from her comfortable chair and took the phone out of her pocket. She smiled when she read the name. Phillip Dolan. Her date from the night before, and now her fiance.  
"Hey, it's Phillip. Can I come hang out for a while?" the message read. It was the same message every time. Marlena didn't bother to know why. She hit the little 'accept' button on the screen, and went back to her writing with the image of her future husband in mind. He was very handsome, with gorgeous, long brown hair, and an attractive Musical Genius aspiration.

A few minutes later, she heard a very loud crash outside of her house. She jumped up from her computer and rushed out to the front door. There was Phillip, standing in front of the trash can outside, which had been tipped over. Trash was spilled in a neat little pile about a foot away. It was a mess!  
"What the hell, babe?!" Marlena stepped onto her porch, still in her sleepwear, and not noticing the passersby on the sidewalk looking at her black lace underwear. "What'd you do that for?!"  
"I'M FUCKING PISSED!" Phillip shouted to the trash.  
"Why?" Marlena asked, totally calm now.  
"LOOK AT MY HAIR!" Phillip pointed to his head. Marlena looked. There was no more hair. Phillip was completely bald.  
"Aw, I'm sorry," she said, sympathetically.  
"MY HAIR'S FUCKING GONE AND NOW I'M PISSED!" Phillip continued to yell. Marlena had never seen him angry before.  
"At least pick up your mess!" Marlena said.  
"NO!" her fiance continued, "I'M GONNA TALK TO YOU!"  
He finished shouting, and walked up to the steps in front of Marlena. Marlena moved over about three inches so they could talk.  
"Hey, honey..." she started, "Why don't we plan our marriage?"  
"NO!" Phillip said again, "I WANNA TALK TO YOU!"  
"...But out marriage is-"  
"I WANNA TALK TO YOU!"  
"Oh, alright, fine."  
Marlena stood there a minute patiently. He never said a word. Finally Marlena got the idea that they might as well elope in their own house and be done with it.  
"Why don't we just get married right here, right now?"  
"What?" Phillip questioned, apparently out of his angry mood at last, "Without witnesses? Without inviting friends or family or anything?"  
"Well... about that..." Marlena shrugged, "I... I don't have any friends to invite."  
"None?"  
"No..."  
"Well, that's okay, I have lots of friends! I can invite Allen and Nancy an-"  
"You can't invite your friends."  
Phillip looked puzzled, "Why?"  
"You just can't. They gotta be my friends."  
"But why?"  
"I dunno, they just gotta."  
"Well... alright..." Phillip scratched his neck and looked around awkwardly. "I did bring the ring with me anyways."  
"Oh, you did?" Marlena looked flattered.  
"Yeah... they've been in my pocket since we got engaged last night." he smiled, then walked into the living room.  
There was no audience there, save for the small television and a glass of milk that would spoil in about fourteen minutes. They both exchanged their rings, and kissed lovingly, and that was all.

"Hey, um..." Marlena looked at Phillip shyly, "...Do you think... maybe we should try for a baby?"  
"Sure." her new husband said, walking up into the bedroom. Marlena followed.  
As they reached the bedroom, Marlena walked ahead of Phillip, causing Phillip to get stuck against the wall. It took him about ten seconds of pressing himself against the doorway to finally get through and into the bedroom. He walked to Marlena's right, and tried to walk to the other side of the bed through her.  
"What are you doing?" Marlena asked.  
"I'm trying to get to the other side of the bed!" Phillip answered, "But you're in the way!"  
Marlena rolled her eyes, "Well, why can't you just go around me?"  
"I can't!" Phillip said, "I have to go this way!"  
"But why?"  
"I just have to!"  
"Well, the only way you're doing that is if you go through me, because I'm not moving."  
So Phillip did just that. He finally was able to get past Marlena, with his shoulder passing through her chest like a ghost going through a wall. Marlena hardly noticed and continued to stare at the bed until Phillip reached the other side.  
Then, the two of them changed into their sleepwear, and jumped into the bed, woohooing until it was nighttime. As soon as they stood up from the bed, they realized they were tired, and proceeded to nap until morning.

* * *

 _So, the story behind this... My sim Marlena Mesa of course met and got engaged to another sim I made named Phillip Dolan. One day, he came over and for no reason he was just really pissed off. Now, I had a mod installed that added new hair types, but recently an update killed the mod, so that any sim I gave the hair to lost it. Including Phillip. So, in my mind, the reason he was so angry was because his hair was gone. Anyway, he walked up to the door to enter, but apparently Marlena didn't get there fast enough, so instead of waiting he walked down to the garbage bin outside and kicked it over. What a great way to greet your fiance, eh?  
Anyway, I was dead set on getting Marlena married off to Phillip, because I wanted my sim to have children, so I calmed Phillip down before trying to organize the wedding event. Only to find that Marlena didn't have enough friends to invite. (I found out later that Phillip had more than enough people he could have invited, hence that scene). So, instead of a full on wedding, I just had them elope then and there. Right afterwards of course, I had them try for a baby, because my goal was to have children, and then that weird thing happened where Phillip got stuck on stuff. It was really funny, because Marlena was just standing there staring at the bed, and Phillip was walking into her.  
It was after all of these events that I thought about putting into story, because the Sims in general is just a wacky game (I mean, it can be serious, but most of the time it isn't) and because why not? So here, I'm planning on documenting all of the shit my sims do. I may not update this often, considering that it is usually rather boring, days consisting of Marlena going to work or writing and Phillip playing his guitar for hours on end. But when something interesting happens, it's going here._ _(By the way, the cover image that I'm getting for this one is a screenshot of Marlena Mesa)_


End file.
